Going_VBG Down_IN There_EX were_VBD these_DT two_CD guys_NNS out_IN hiking_NN when_WRB they_PRP came_VBD upon_IN an_DT old_JJ ,_, abandoned_VBN mineshaft_NN ._. 
Curious_NNP about_IN its_PRP$ depth_NN they_PRP threw_VBD in_IN a_DT pebble_JJ and_CC waited_VBD for_IN the_DT sound_NN of_IN it_PRP striking_VBG the_DT bottom_NN ,_, but_CC they_PRP heard_VBD nothing_NN ._. 
They_PRP went_VBD and_CC got_VBD a_DT bigger_JJR rock_NN ,_, threw_VBD it_PRP in_IN and_CC waited_VBD ._. 
Still_RB nothing_NN ._. 
They_PRP searched_VBD the_DT area_NN for_IN something_NN larger_JJR and_CC came_VBD upon_IN a_DT railroad_NN tie_NN ._. 
With_IN great_JJ difficulty_NN ,_, the_DT two_CD men_NNS carried_VBD it_PRP to_TO the_DT opening_NN and_CC threw_VBD it_PRP in_IN ._. 
While_IN waiting_VBG for_IN it_PRP to_TO hit_VB bottom_NN ,_, a_DT goat_NN suddenly_RB darted_JJ between_IN them_PRP and_CC leapt_VBD into_IN the_DT hole_NN !_. 
The_DT guys_NNS were_VBD still_RB standing_NN there_RB with_IN astonished_JJ looks_NNS upon_IN their_PRP$ faces_NNS from_IN the_DT actions_NNS of_IN the_DT goat_NN when_WRB a_DT man_NN walked_VBD up_IN to_TO them_PRP ._. 
He_PRP asked_VBD them_PRP if_IN they_PRP had_VBD seen_VBN a_DT goat_NN anywhere_RB in_IN the_DT area_NN and_CC they_PRP said_VBD that_IN one_CD had_VBD just_RB jumped_VBN into_IN the_DT mineshaft_NN in_IN front_NN of_IN them_PRP !_. 
The_DT man_NN replied_VBD ,_, "_'' Oh_UH no_UH ._. 
That_DT could_MD n't_RB be_VB MY_NNP goat_NN ,_, my_PRP$ goat_NN was_VBD tied_VBN to_TO a_DT railroad_NN tie_NN ._. "_'' 

ARGUMENTS_NNP A_DT woman_NN has_VBZ the_DT last_JJ word_NN in_IN any_DT argument_NN ._. 
Anything_NN a_DT man_NN says_VBZ after_IN that_DT is_VBZ the_DT beginning_NN of_IN a_DT new_JJ argument_NN ._. 

SUCCESS_NNP A_DT successful_JJ man_NN is_VBZ one_CD who_WP makes_VBZ more_JJR money_NN than_IN his_PRP$ wife_NN can_MD spend_VB ._. 
A_DT successful_JJ woman_NN is_VBZ one_CD who_WP has_VBZ found_VBN such_JJ a_DT man_NN ._. 

Oral_NNP Cure_NNP "_'' I_PRP finally_RB quit_VBD smoking_VBG by_IN using_VBG the_DT patch_NN ._. 
I_PRP stuck_VBD the_DT darn_NN thing_NN over_IN my_PRP$ mouth_NN ._. "_'' 
--_: Wendy_NNP Liebman_NNP 
Perpetual_JJ Motion_NNP When_WRB a_DT cat_NN is_VBZ dropped_VBN ,_, it_PRP always_RB lands_NNS on_IN its_PRP$ feet_NNS ,_, and_CC when_WRB toast_NN is_VBZ dropped_VBN ,_, it_PRP always_RB lands_NNS buttered_JJ side_NN down_RB ._. 
It_PRP has_VBZ been_VBN proposed_VBN to_TO strap_NN giant_NN slabs_NNS of_IN hot_JJ buttered_JJ toast_NN to_TO the_DT backs_NNS of_IN hundreds_NNS of_IN tethered_JJ cats_NNS ;_: the_DT two_CD opposing_VBG forces_NNS will_MD cause_VB the_DT cats_NNS to_TO hover_NN ,_, spinning_JJ inches_NNS above_IN the_DT ground_NN ._. 
Using_VBG the_DT power_NN generated_VBN by_IN this_DT giant_NN buttered_JJ toast-cat_JJ array_NN ,_, a_DT high-speed_JJ monorail_NN could_MD easily_RB link_VB New_NNP York_NNP with_IN Chicago_NNP ._. 

Pardon_NNP Me_PRP ?_. A_DT man_NN goes_VBZ into_IN a_DT drug_NN store_NN and_CC asks_VBZ the_DT pharmacist_NN if_IN he_PRP can_MD give_VB him_PRP something_NN to_TO stop_VB hiccups_NNS ._. 
The_DT pharmacist_NN promptly_RB reaches_VBZ out_IN and_CC slaps_VBZ the_DT man_NN 's_POS face_NN ._. 
(_( Whack_NNP !_. )_) 
"_'' What_WP did_VBD you_PRP do_VB that_DT for_RP ?_. "_'' the_DT man_NN asks_VBZ ._. 
"_'' Well_RB ,_, you_PRP do_VBP n't_RB have_VB the_DT hiccups_NNS any_DT more_JJR ,_, do_VBP you_PRP ?_. "_'' 
The_DT man_NN says_VBZ ,_, "_'' Maybe_RB not_RB ,_, but_CC my_PRP$ missus_JJ out_IN there_RB in_IN the_DT car_NN still_RB does_VBZ !_. "_'' 

Obsolescence_NNP "_'' You_PRP know_VBP you_PRP 're_VBP old_JJ when_WRB they_PRP 've_VBP discontinued_VBN your_PRP$ blood_NN type_NN ._. "_'' 
--_: Phyllis_NNP Diller_NNP 

Proof_NNP A_DT husband_NN said_VBD to_TO his_PRP$ wife_NN ,_, "_'' No_DT ,_, of_IN course_NN I_PRP do_VBP n't_RB hate_VB your_PRP$ relatives_NNS ._. 
In_IN actual_JJ fact_NN ,_, I_PRP like_VBP your_PRP$ mother-in-law_NN a_DT whole_JJ lot_NN better_JJR than_IN I_PRP like_VBP mine_NN ._. "_'' 

Pearly_NNP Whites_NNP A_DT tourist_NN was_VBD admiring_VBG the_DT necklace_NN worn_VBN by_IN a_DT local_JJ Indian_JJ ._. 
"_'' What_WP is_VBZ it_PRP made_VBD of_RP ?_. "_'' she_PRP asked_VBD ._. 
"_'' Alligator_NNP 's_POS teeth_NNS ,_, "_'' the_DT Indian_JJ replied_VBD ._. 
"_'' I_PRP suppose_VBP ,_, "_'' she_PRP said_VBD patronizingly_RB ,_, "_'' that_IN they_PRP mean_VBP as_IN much_JJ to_TO you_PRP as_IN pearls_NNS do_VBP to_TO us_PRP ._. "_'' 
"_'' Oh_UH no_DT ,_, "_'' he_PRP objected_VBD ._. 
"_'' Any_DT fool_NN can_MD open_VB an_DT oyster_NN ._. "_'' 

No_NNP '_POS Gators_NNP Here_RB While_IN sports_NNS fishing_NN off_IN the_DT Florida_NNP coast_NN ,_, a_DT tourist_NN capsized_JJ his_PRP$ boat_NN ._. 
He_PRP could_MD swim_VBP ,_, but_CC his_PRP$ fear_NN of_IN alligators_NNS kept_VBD him_PRP clinging_VBG to_TO the_DT overturned_JJ craft_NN ._. 
Spotting_NNP an_DT old_JJ beachcomber_NN standing_NN on_IN the_DT shore_NN ,_, the_DT tourist_NN shouted_VBD ,_, "_'' are_VBP there_EX any_DT '_POS gators_NNS around_IN here_RB ?_. !_. "_'' 
"_'' Naw_NNP ,_, "_'' the_DT man_NN hollered_JJ back_RB ,_, "_'' Ai_NNP n't_RB been_VBN any_DT for_IN years_NNS !_. "_'' 
Feeling_VBG safe_JJ ,_, the_DT tourist_NN started_VBD swimming_VBG toward_IN the_DT shore_NN ._. 
As_IN he_PRP got_VBD closer_JJR to_TO shore_VB he_PRP shouted_VBD to_TO the_DT guy_NN again_RB "_'' What_WP did_VBD you_PRP do_VB to_TO get_VB rid_JJ of_IN the_NNP '_POS gators_NNS ?_. "_'' 
"_'' We_PRP did_VBD n't_RB do_VB nothin_NN '_'' ,_, "_'' the_DT beachcomber_NN said_VBD ._. 
"_'' The_DT sharks_NNS got_VBD 'em_PRP all_DT ._. "_'' 

Many_JJ Happy_NNP Returns_NNS ?_. A_DT man_NN entered_VBD a_DT stationery_NN store_NN and_CC asked_VBD the_DT clerk_NN for_IN a_DT birthday_NN /_NN anniversary_NN card_NN ._. 
The_DT clerk_NN replied_VBD ,_, "_'' We_PRP have_VBP birthday_NN cards_NNS and_CC we_PRP have_VBP anniversary_NN cards_NNS ._. Why_WRB not_RB take_VB one_CD of_IN each_DT ?_. "_'' 
The_DT man_NN said_VBD ,_, "_'' You_PRP do_VBP n't_RB understand_VB ._. I_PRP need_VBP a_DT card_NN that_WDT covers_VBZ BOTH_DT events_NNS !_. You_PRP see_VBP ,_, we_PRP 're_VBP celebrating_VBG the_DT fifth_JJ anniversary_NN of_IN my_PRP$ wife_NN 's_POS thirty-ninth_JJ birthday_NN ..._... "_'' 

Signs_NNS Over_IN a_DT gynecologist_NN 's_POS office_NN :_: "_'' Dr._NN Jones_NNP ,_, at_IN your_PRP$ cervix_NN ._. "_'' 
On_IN a_DT plumber_NN 's_POS truck_NN :_: "_'' We_PRP repair_VBP what_WP your_PRP$ husband_NN fixed_VBN ._. "_'' 
On_IN the_DT trucks_NNS of_IN a_DT local_JJ plumbing_NN company_NN in_IN NE_NNP Pennsylvania_NNP :_: "_'' Do_VBP n't_RB sleep_VB with_IN a_DT drip_NN ._. 
Call_VB your_PRP$ plumber_NN ._. "_'' 
Pizza_NNP shop_NN slogan_NN :_: "_'' 7_CD days_NNS without_IN pizza_NN makes_VBZ one_CD weak_JJ ._. "_'' 
Outside_IN a_DT muffler_NN shop_NN :_: "_'' No_DT appointment_NN necessary_JJ ._. 
We_PRP hear_VBP you_PRP coming_VBG ._. "_'' 
In_IN a_DT veterinarian_NN 's_POS waiting_VBG room_NN :_: "_'' Be_VB back_RB in_IN 5_CD minutes_NNS ._. 
Sit_NNP !_. 
Stay_NNP !_. "_'' 
Door_NNP of_IN a_DT plastic_NN surgeon_NN 's_POS office_NN :_: "_'' We_PRP can_MD help_VB you_PRP pick_VB your_PRP$ nose_NN !_. "_'' 
On_IN an_DT electrician_NN 's_POS truck_NN :_: "_'' Let_VB us_PRP remove_VB your_PRP$ shorts_NNS ._. "_'' 
In_IN a_DT non-smoking_JJ area_NN :_: "_'' If_IN we_PRP see_VBP smoke_NN ,_, we_PRP will_MD assume_VB you_PRP are_VBP on_IN fire_NN and_CC take_VB appropriate_JJ action_NN ._. "_'' 
On_IN a_DT maternity_NN room_NN door_NN :_: "_'' Push_VBP ._. 
Push_VBP ._. 
Push_VBP ._. "_'' 

Holy_NNP Moses_NNP ….._. "_'' Somebody_NN recently_RB figured_VBD out_RP that_IN we_PRP have_VBP enacted_VBN more_JJR than_IN 35_CD million_CD laws_NNS just_RB to_TO enforce_VB the_DT Ten_CD Commandments_NNP ._. "_'' 
--_: Bert_NNP Masterson_NNP 

Pistol_NNP Packing_NNP Momma_NNP !_. When_WRB my_PRP$ three-year-old_JJ son_NN opened_VBD the_DT birthday_NN gift_NN from_IN his_PRP$ grandmother_NN and_CC found_VBD a_DT water_NN pistol_NN ._. 
He_PRP squealed_JJ with_IN delight_NN and_CC headed_VBN for_IN the_DT nearest_JJS sink_NN ._. 
I_PRP was_VBD not_RB so_RB pleased_JJ ._. 
I_PRP turned_VBD to_TO Mom_NN and_CC said_VBD ,_, "_'' I_PRP 'm_VBP surprised_VBN at_IN you_PRP ._. 
Do_VBP n't_RB you_PRP remember_VBP how_WRB we_PRP used_VBD to_TO drive_VB you_PRP crazy_JJ with_IN water_NN guns_NNS ?_. "_'' 
Mom_NN grinned_JJ and_CC replied_VBD ,_, "_'' Yep_NNP ,_, I_PRP remember_VBP ._. "_'' 

Please_VB Press_NNP The_DT Hash_NNP Key_NNP "_'' For_IN a_DT list_NN of_IN all_PDT the_DT ways_NNS technology_NN has_VBZ failed_VBN to_TO improve_VB the_DT quality_NN of_IN life_NN ,_, please_VB press_NN 3_CD ._. "_'' 
--_: Alice_NNP Kahn_NNP 

The_DT Ring_NNP of_IN Truth_NNP My_PRP$ next-door_JJ neighbor_NN and_CC I_PRP frequently_RB borrow_VBP things_NNS from_IN each_DT other_JJ ._. 
Not_RB long_RB ago_RB ,_, when_WRB I_PRP requested_VBD his_PRP$ ladder_NN ,_, he_PRP told_VBD me_PRP he_PRP had_VBD lent_VBN it_PRP to_TO his_PRP$ son_NN ._. 
Recalling_NNP a_DT saying_VBG my_PRP$ grandmother_NN used_VBN to_TO repeat_VB ,_, I_PRP recited_JJ ,_, "_'' You_PRP should_MD never_RB lend_VB anything_NN to_TO your_PRP$ kids_NNS ,_, because_IN you_PRP will_MD never_RB get_VB it_PRP back_RB ._. "_'' 
With_IN that_DT ,_, he_PRP responded_VBD ,_, "_'' Ai_NNP n't_RB that_IN the_DT truth_NN ,_, it_PRP 's_VBZ not_RB even_RB my_PRP$ ladder_NN ._. 
It_PRP 's_VBZ my_PRP$ dad_NN 's_POS ._. "_'' 

Not_RB Strait_NNP Laced_NNP I_PRP was_VBD sitting_VBG on_IN the_DT sofa_NN with_IN my_PRP$ teenage_JJ son_NN ,_, discussing_VBG his_PRP$ day_NN at_IN school_NN ._. 
"_'' Mom_NN ,_, "_'' he_PRP said_VBD ,_, "_'' there_EX 's_VBZ going_VBG to_TO be_VB a_DT dance_NN at_IN the_DT school_NN this_DT Friday_NNP and_CC it_PRP 's_VBZ going_VBG to_TO be_VB formal_JJ ._. 
So_RB ,_, could_MD I_PRP get_VB a_DT new_JJ pair_NN of_IN sneakers_NNS ?_. "_'' 

More_JJR of_IN life_NN 's_POS mysteries_NNS !_. Why_WRB do_VBP n't_RB you_PRP ever_RB see_VBP the_DT headline_NN "_'' Psychic_NNP Wins_NNP Lottery_NNP "_'' ?_. 
Why_WRB does_VBZ the_DT sun_NN lighten_VB our_PRP$ hair_NN ,_, but_CC darken_NN our_PRP$ skin_NN ?_. 
Why_WRB does_VBZ n't_RB glue_NN stick_NN to_TO the_DT inside_JJ of_IN the_DT bottle_NN ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ "_'' abbreviated_JJ "_'' such_JJ a_DT long_JJ word_NN ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ a_DT boxing_VBG ring_NN square_JJ ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ it_PRP called_VBD lipstick_NN if_IN you_PRP can_MD still_RB move_VB your_PRP$ lips_NNS ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ it_PRP considered_VBN necessary_JJ to_TO firmly_RB nail_VB down_RP the_DT lid_NN of_IN a_DT coffin_NN ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ it_PRP that_IN rain_NN drops_NNS but_CC snow_NN falls_VBZ ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ it_PRP that_IN to_TO stop_VB Windows_NNP 95_CD ,_, 98_CD ,_, 2000_CD and_CC NT_NNP ,_, you_PRP have_VBP to_TO click_NN on_IN "_'' Start_NNP "_'' ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ the_DT man_NN who_WP invests_VBZ all_DT your_PRP$ money_NN called_VBD a_DT broker_NN ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ the_DT time_NN of_IN day_NN with_IN the_DT slowest_JJS traffic_NN called_VBD rush_NN hour_NN ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ the_DT word_NN dictionary_JJ in_IN the_DT dictionary_JJ ?_. 
Why_WRB is_VBZ n't_RB there_EX a_DT special_JJ name_NN for_IN the_DT tops_NNS of_IN your_PRP$ feet_NNS ?_. 
Can_MD a_DT stupid_JJ person_NN be_VBP a_DT smart-ass_JJ ?_. 
Can_MD fat_JJ people_NNS go_VB skinny-dipping_JJ ?_. 

Insex_NNP I_PRP stopped_VBD at_IN a_DT friends_NNS house_VBP the_DT other_JJ day_NN and_CC found_VBD him_PRP stalking_VBG around_IN with_IN a_DT flyswatter_NN ._. 
When_WRB I_PRP asked_VBD if_IN he_PRP had_VBD gotten_VBN any_DT flies_NNS ,_, he_PRP answered_VBD ,_, "_'' Yeah_UH ,_, 3_CD males_NNS and_CC 2_CD females_NNS ._. "_'' 
Curious_NNP ,_, I_PRP inquired_VBD as_IN to_TO how_WRB he_PRP could_MD tell_VB the_DT difference_NN ._. 
He_PRP answered_VBD ,_, "_'' 3_CD were_VBD on_IN a_DT beer_NN can_MD and_CC 2_CD were_VBD on_IN the_DT phone_NN ._. "_'' 

Hare_NNP Hare_NNP A_DT young_JJ man_NN was_VBD something_NN of_IN a_DT slacker_NN and_CC found_VBD it_PRP difficult_JJ to_TO hold_VB down_RP a_DT job_NN ._. 
After_IN a_DT visit_NN to_TO the_DT employment_NN office_NN ,_, he_PRP was_VBD offered_VBN work_NN at_IN the_DT local_JJ zoo_NN ._. 
When_WRB he_PRP arrived_VBD for_IN his_PRP$ first_JJ day_NN ,_, the_DT keeper_NN ,_, aware_JJ of_IN his_PRP$ reputation_NN ,_, told_VBD him_PRP to_TO take_VB care_NN of_IN the_DT tortoise_NN section_NN ._. 
Later_RB ,_, the_DT keeper_NN dropped_VBN by_IN to_TO see_VB how_WRB the_DT young_JJ man_NN was_VBD doing_VBG and_CC found_VBD him_PRP standing_NN by_IN an_DT empty_JJ enclosure_NN with_IN the_DT gate_NN open_JJ ._. 
"_'' Where_WRB are_VBP the_DT tortoises_NNS ?_. "_'' he_PRP asked_VBD ._. 
"_'' I_PRP ca_MD n't_RB believe_VB it_PRP ,_, "_'' said_VBD the_DT new_JJ employee_NN ,_, "_'' I_PRP just_RB opened_VBD the_DT door_NN and_CC whooosh_JJ ,_, they_PRP were_VBD gone_VBN !_. "_'' 

Menu_NNP Fodder_NNP Yogurt_NNP :_: Semi-solid_NNP dairy_NN product_NN made_VBN from_IN partially_RB evaporated_VBD and_CC fermented_JJ milk_NN ._. 
Yogurt_NNP is_VBZ one_CD of_IN only_RB three_CD foods_NNS that_WDT taste_NN exactly_RB the_DT same_JJ as_IN they_PRP sound_VBP ._. 
The_DT other_JJ two_CD are_VBP goulash_NN and_CC squid_NN ._. 
Ask_VB and_CC you_PRP shall_MD receive_VB ……_. All_DT my_PRP$ life_NN I_PRP said_VBD I_PRP wanted_VBD to_TO be_VB somebody_NN ..._... 
I_PRP can_MD see_VB now_RB that_IN I_PRP should_MD have_VB been_VBN more_RBR specific_JJ ._. 

Lots_NNS of_IN Bottle_NNP needed_VBD here_RB The_DT Boy_NNP Scouts_NNP were_VBD out_IN collecting_VBG bottles_NNS for_IN a_DT fund_NN raising_VBG activity_NN ._. 
One_CD ambitious_JJ young_JJ man_NN knocked_VBD on_IN a_DT door_NN and_CC a_DT sour-faced_JJ ,_, older_JJR lady_NN came_VBD to_TO the_DT door_NN and_CC barked_JJ out_IN ,_, "_'' What_WP do_VBP you_PRP want_VBP ,_, Sonny_NNP ?_. "_'' 
"_'' D-_NNP d-do_JJ you_PRP have_VBP any_DT beer_NN bottles_NNS for_IN the_DT Boy_NNP Scouts_NNP ,_, ma'am_NN ?_. "_'' 
"_'' Look_VB here_RB ,_, young_JJ man_NN ,_, do_VBP I_PRP look_VBP like_IN the_DT kind_NN of_IN lady_NN who_WP would_MD drink_VB beer_NN ?_. "_'' replied_VBD the_DT lady_NN ._. 
"_'' S-_NNP s-sorry_JJ ,_, Ma'am_NNP ,_, "_'' was_VBD his_PRP$ reply_NN ._. 
"_'' W-_NNP w-what_JJ about_IN vinegar_NN bottles_NNS ?_. "_'' 

Definition_NNP Miser_NNP :_: A_DT person_NN who_WP lives_VBZ poor_JJ so_IN that_IN he_PRP can_MD die_VB rich_JJ ._. 

International_NNP Understanding_NNP The_DT following_VBG is_VBZ a_DT telephone_NN exchange_NN between_IN a_DT hotel_NN guest_NN and_CC room-service_JJ at_IN a_DT fine_NN Japanese_JJ hotel_NN ._. 

Room_NNP Service_NNP (_( RS_NNP )_) :_: Morny_NNP ._. 
Ruin_NNP sorbees_NNS ._. 
Guest_NNP (_( G_NNP )_) :_: Sorry_JJ ,_, I_PRP thought_VBD I_PRP dialed_JJ room-service_JJ ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Rye_NNP ._. ._. 
Ruin_NNP sorbees_NNS ._. ._. 
morny_NN !_. 
Djewish_NNP to_TO odor_NN sunteen_NN ?_. ?_. 
G_NNP :_: Uh_NNP ,_, yes_UH ..._... 
I_PRP 'd_MD like_VB some_DT bacon_NN and_CC eggs_NNS ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Ow_NNP July_NNP den_NN ?_. 
G_NNP :_: What_WP ?_. 
RS_NNP :_: Ow_NNP July_NNP den_NN ?_. 
Pry_NNP ,_, boy_NN ,_, pooch_NN ?_. 
G_NNP :_: Oh_UH ,_, the_DT eggs_NNS !_. 
How_WRB do_VBP I_PRP like_VBP them_PRP ?_. 
Sorry_JJ ,_, scrambled_VBD please_VB ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Ow_NNP July_NNP dee_NN bayhcem--crease_JJ ?_. 
G_NNP :_: Crisp_NNP will_MD be_VB fine_NN ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Hokay_NNP ._. 
An_DT san_NN tos_NNS ?_. 
G_NNP :_: What_WP ?_. 
RS_NNP :_: San_NNP tos_NNS ._. 
July_NNP San_NNP tos_NNS ?_. 
G_NNP :_: I_PRP do_VBP n't_RB think_VB so_RB RS_NNP :_: No_UH ?_. 
Judo_NNP one_CD toes_NNS ?_. ?_. 
G_NNP :_: I_PRP feel_VBP really_RB bad_JJ about_IN this_DT ,_, but_CC I_PRP do_VBP n't_RB know_VB what_WP "_'' judo_NN one_CD toes_NNS means_VBZ ._. "_'' 
RS_NNP :_: Toes_NNP !_. 
toes_NNS !_. 
Why_WRB djew_NN don_VB juan_NN toes_NNS ?_. 
Ow_NNP bow_VB singlish_NN mopping_VBG we_PRP bother_VBP ?_. 
G_NNP :_: English_NNP muffin_NN !_. 
I_PRP 've_VBP got_VBN it_PRP !_. 
You_PRP were_VBD saying_VBG "_'' Toast_NNP ._. "_'' 
Fine_NNP ._. 
Yes_UH ,_, an_DT English_NNP muffin_NN will_MD be_VB fine_NN ._. 
RS_NNP :_: We_PRP bother_VBP ?_. 
G_NNP :_: No_DT ,_, just_RB put_VB the_DT bother_VB on_IN the_DT side_NN ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Wad_NNP ?_. 
G_NNP :_: I_PRP mean_VBP butter--just_JJ put_NN it_PRP on_IN the_DT side_NN ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Copy_NNP ?_. 
G_NNP :_: Sorry_JJ ?_. 
RS_NNP :_: Copy_NNP ,_, tea_NN ,_, mill_NN ?_. 
G_NNP :_: Yes_UH ._. 
Coffee_NNP please_VB ,_, and_CC that_DT 's_VBZ all_DT ._. 
RS_NNP :_: One_CD Minnie_NNP ._. 
Ass_NNP ruin_VB torino_NN fee_NN ,_, strangle_NN ache_NN ,_, crease_NN baychem_NN ,_, tossy_NN singlish_NN mopping_VBG we_PRP bother_VBP honey_NN sigh_NN ,_, and_CC copy--rye_JJ ?_. 
G_NNP :_: Whatever_WDT you_PRP say_VBP ._. 
RS_NNP :_: Tendjewberrymud_NNP ._. 
G_NNP :_: You_PRP 're_VBP welcome_JJ ._. 

Tusk_NNP ,_, Tusk_NNP …_NN ._. A_DT jeweller_NN watched_VBN as_IN a_DT huge_JJ truck_NN pulled_VBD up_RB in_IN front_NN of_IN his_PRP$ store_NN ._. 
The_DT back_RB came_VBD down_RB and_CC an_DT elephant_NN walked_VBD out_RP ._. 
It_PRP broke_VBD one_CD of_IN the_DT windows_NNS with_IN its_PRP$ tusk_NN and_CC then_RB ,_, using_VBG its_PRP$ trunk_NN like_IN a_DT vacuum_NN cleaner_JJR sucked_JJ up_RP all_DT of_IN the_DT jewellery_NN ._. 
The_DT elephant_NN then_RB got_VBD back_RB in_IN the_DT truck_NN and_CC it_PRP disappeared_VBD out_IN of_IN sight_NN ._. 
When_WRB the_DT jeweller_NN finally_RB regained_VBD his_PRP$ senses_NNS he_PRP called_VBD the_DT police_NN ._. 
The_DT detectives_NNS came_VBD and_CC he_PRP told_VBD them_PRP his_PRP$ story_NN ._. 
"_'' Could_MD you_PRP describe_VB the_DT elephant_NN ?_. "_'' the_DT cop_NN asked_VBD ._. 
"_'' An_DT elephant_NN is_VBZ an_DT elephant_NN ,_, "_'' he_PRP replied_VBD ._. 
"_'' You_PRP 've_VBP seen_VBN one_CD you_PRP 've_VBP seen_VBN them_PRP all_DT ._. 
What_WP do_VBP you_PRP mean_VBP '_POS describe_VB '_POS him_PRP ?_. "_'' 
"_'' Well_RB ,_, "_'' said_VBD the_DT policeman_NN ,_, "_'' there_EX are_VBP two_CD types_NNS of_IN elephants_NNS ,_, African_JJ and_CC Indian_JJ ._. 
The_DT Indian_JJ elephant_NN has_VBZ smaller_JJR ears_NNS and_CC is_VBZ not_RB as_RB large_JJ as_IN the_DT African_JJ elephant_NN ._. "_'' 
"_'' I_PRP ca_MD n't_RB help_VB you_PRP out_IN ,_, "_'' said_VBD the_DT frustrated_JJ jeweller_NN ,_, "_'' he_PRP had_VBD a_DT stocking_VBG pulled_VBN over_IN his_PRP$ head_NN ._. "_'' 

Fowl_NNP Pun_NNP ._. The_DT minister_NN had_VBD just_RB finished_VBN an_DT excellent_JJ chicken_NN dinner_NN at_IN the_DT home_NN of_IN a_DT member_NN of_IN his_PRP$ congregation_NN ._. 
Sitting_VBG on_IN the_DT porch_NN after_IN dinner_NN he_PRP saw_VBD a_DT rooster_NN come_VB strutting_VBG through_IN the_DT yard_NN ._. 
"_'' That_DT 's_VBZ certainly_RB a_DT proud-looking_JJ rooster_NN you_PRP have_VBP there_RB ,_, "_'' the_DT minister_NN commented_VBD ._. 
"_'' Yes_UH sir_NN ,_, "_'' replied_VBD the_DT farmer_NN ._. 
"_'' He_PRP has_VBZ reason_NN to_TO be_VB proud_JJ ,_, one_CD of_IN his_PRP$ sons_NNS just_RB entered_VBD the_DT ministry_NN !_. "_'' 

Canned_NNP ?_. "_'' There_EX is_VBZ one_CD thing_NN more_JJR exasperating_VBG than_IN a_DT spouse_NN who_WP can_MD cook_VB and_CC wo_MD n't_RB ,_, and_CC that_DT 's_VBZ a_DT spouse_NN who_WP ca_MD n't_RB cook_VB and_CC will_MD ._. "_'' 
-_: Anonymous_NNP 

THE_DT SENILITY_NNP PRAYER_NNP "_'' God_NNP grant_VB me_PRP the_DT senility_NN to_TO forget_VB the_DT people_NNS I_PRP never_RB liked_VBD anyway_RB ,_, the_DT good_JJ fortune_NN to_TO run_VB into_IN the_DT ones_NNS that_IN I_PRP do_VBP ,_, and_CC the_DT eyesight_NN to_TO tell_VB the_DT difference_NN ._. "_'' 
Now_RB that_IN I_PRP 'm_VBP '_POS older_JJR '_POS (_( but_CC refuse_VB to_TO grow_VB up_RP )_) ,_, here_RB 's_POS what_WP I_PRP 've_VBP discovered_VBN :_: ONE-_NNP I_PRP started_VBD out_IN with_IN nothing_NN ,_, and_CC I_PRP still_RB have_VBP most_JJS of_IN it_PRP ._. 
TWO-_NNP My_PRP$ wild_JJ oats_NNS have_VBP turned_VBN into_IN prunes_NNS and_CC All_DT Bran_NNP ._. 
THREE-_NNP I_PRP finally_RB got_VBD my_PRP$ head_NN together_RB ;_: now_RB my_PRP$ body_NN is_VBZ falling_VBG apart_RB ._. 
FOUR-_NNP Funny_JJ ,_, I_PRP do_VBP n't_RB remember_VB being_VBG absent_JJ minded_VBD ..._... 
FOUR-_NNP Funny_JJ ,_, I_PRP do_VBP n't_RB remember_VB being_VBG absent_JJ minded_VBD ..._... 
FIVE-_NNP All_DT reports_NNS are_VBP in_IN ;_: life_NN is_VBZ now_RB officially_RB unfair_JJ ._. 
SIX-_NNP If_IN all_DT is_VBZ not_RB lost_VBN ,_, where_WRB is_VBZ it_PRP ?_. 
SEVEN-_NNP It_PRP is_VBZ easier_JJR to_TO get_VB older_JJR than_IN it_PRP is_VBZ to_TO get_VB wiser_JJR ._. 
EIGHT-_NNP Some_DT days_NNS you_PRP 're_VBP the_DT dog_NN ;_: some_DT days_NNS you_PRP 're_VBP the_DT hydrant_NN ._. 
NINE-_NNP I_PRP wish_VBP the_DT buck_NN stopped_VBD here_RB ;_: I_PRP sure_JJ could_MD use_VB a_DT few_JJ ..._... 
TEN-_NNP Kids_NNP in_IN the_DT back_NN seat_NN cause_NN accidents_NNS ._. 
ELEVEN-_NNP Accidents_NNP in_IN the_DT back_NN seat_NN cause_NN kids_NNS ._. 
TWELVE-_NNP It_PRP 's_VBZ hard_JJ to_TO make_VB a_DT comeback_NN when_WRB you_PRP have_VBP n't_RB been_VBN anywhere_RB ._. 
THIRTEEN-_NNP The_DT only_JJ time_NN the_DT world_NN beats_VBZ a_DT path_NN to_TO your_PRP$ door_NN is_VBZ when_WRB you_PRP 're_VBP in_IN the_DT bathroom_NN ._. 
FOURTEEN-_NNP If_IN God_NNP wanted_VBD me_PRP to_TO touch_VB my_PRP$ toes_NNS ,_, he_PRP would_MD have_VB put_VBN them_PRP on_IN my_PRP$ knees_NNS ._. 
FIFTEEN-_NNP When_WRB I_PRP 'm_VBP finally_RB holding_VBG all_PDT the_DT cards_NNS ,_, why_WRB does_VBZ everyone_NN decide_VB to_TO play_VB chess_NN ?_. 
SIXTEEN-_NNP It_PRP 's_VBZ not_RB hard_JJ to_TO meet_VB expenses_NNS ..._... 
they_PRP 're_VBP everywhere_RB ._. 
SEVENTEEN-_NNP The_DT only_JJ difference_NN between_IN a_DT rut_NN and_CC a_DT grave_NN is_VBZ the_DT depth_NN ._. 
EIGHTEEN-_NNP These_DT days_NNS ,_, I_PRP spend_VBP a_DT lot_NN of_IN time_NN thinking_VBG about_IN the_DT hereafter_RB ..._... 
I_PRP go_VBP somewhere_RB to_TO get_VB something_NN and_CC then_RB wonder_VBP what_WP I_PRP 'm_VBP hereafter_RB ._. 
NINETEEN-_NNP I_PRP AM_NNP UNABLE_NNP TO_TO REMEMBER_NNP IF_IN I_PRP HAVE_NNP MAILED_NNP THIS_NNP TO_TO YOU_PRP BEFORE_NNP OR_NNP NOT_NNP !_. 
Where_WRB was_VBD I_PRP ?_. ?_. 

Ask_VB and_CC Ye_NNP Shall_NNP Receive_NNP One_CD day_NN ,_, three_CD men_NNS were_VBD hiking_NN and_CC unexpectedly_RB came_VBD upon_IN a_DT large_JJ raging_VBG ,_, violent_JJ river_NN ._. 
They_PRP needed_VBD to_TO get_VB to_TO the_DT other_JJ side_NN ,_, but_CC had_VBD no_DT idea_NN of_IN how_WRB to_TO do_VB so_RB ._. 
The_DT first_JJ man_NN prayed_JJ to_TO God_NNP ,_, saying_VBG ,_, "_'' Please_VB God_NNP ,_, give_VB me_PRP the_DT strength_NN to_TO cross_VB this_DT river_NN "_'' ._. 
Poof_NNP !_. 
God_NNP gave_VBD him_PRP big_JJ arms_NNS and_CC strong_JJ legs_NNS ,_, and_CC he_PRP was_VBD able_JJ to_TO swim_VBP across_IN the_DT river_NN in_IN about_IN two_CD hours_NNS ,_, after_IN almost_RB drowning_VBG a_DT couple_NN of_IN times_NNS ._. 
Seeing_VBG this_DT ,_, the_DT second_JJ man_NN prayed_JJ to_TO God_NNP ,_, saying_VBG ,_, "_'' Please_VB God_NNP ,_, give_VB me_PRP the_DT strength_NN …_NN ._. 
and_CC the_DT tools_NNS to_TO cross_VB this_DT river_NN "_'' ._. 
Poof_NNP !_. 
God_NNP gave_VBD him_PRP a_DT rowboat_NN and_CC he_PRP was_VBD able_JJ to_TO row_VB across_IN the_DT river_NN in_IN about_IN an_DT hour_NN ,_, after_IN almost_RB capsizing_VBG the_DT boat_NN a_DT couple_NN of_IN times_NNS ._. 
The_DT third_JJ man_NN had_VBD seen_VBN how_WRB this_DT worked_VBD out_IN for_IN the_DT other_JJ two_CD ,_, so_IN he_PRP also_RB prayed_JJ to_TO God_NNP saying_VBG ,_, "_'' Please_VB God_NNP ,_, give_VB me_PRP the_DT strength_NN and_CC the_DT tools_NNS ..._... and_CC the_DT intelligence_NN ._. to_TO cross_VB this_DT river_NN "_'' ._. 
And_CC poof_NN !_. 
God_NNP turned_VBD him_PRP into_IN a_DT woman_NN ._. 
She_PRP looked_VBD at_IN the_DT map_NN ,_, hiked_VBN upstream_RB a_DT couple_NN of_IN hundred_CD yards_NNS ,_, then_RB walked_VBD across_IN the_DT bridge_NN ._. 

Reality_NN Check_VB "_'' What_WP do_VBP you_PRP love_VBP most_JJS about_IN me_PRP ,_, "_'' a_DT husband_NN asked_VBD his_PRP$ wife_NN ,_, "_'' My_PRP$ great_JJ athletic_JJ ability_NN or_CC my_PRP$ quick_JJ intellect_NN ?_. "_'' 
"_'' What_WP I_PRP love_VBP most_JJS about_IN you_PRP ,_, "_'' responded_VBD the_DT wife_NN ,_, "_'' Is_VBZ your_PRP$ enormous_JJ sense_NN of_IN humor_NN ._. "_'' 

A_DT Pair_NNP of_IN Show_NNP me_PRP a_DT man_NN with_IN both_DT feet_NNS planted_VBN firmly_RB on_IN the_DT ground_NN and_CC I_PRP 'll_MD show_VB you_PRP a_DT man_NN who_WP ca_MD n't_RB put_VB on_IN his_PRP$ pants_NNS ._. 

Very_RB Finny_NNP Two_CD fish_NN are_VBP in_IN a_DT tank_NN ._. 
One_CD says_VBZ to_TO the_DT other_JJ ,_, "_'' Do_VBP you_PRP know_VBP how_WRB to_TO drive_VB this_DT thing_NN ?_. "_'' 

Value_NNP She_PRP was_VBD reading_VBG a_DT newspaper_NN while_IN her_PRP$ husband_NN was_VBD engrossed_JJ in_IN a_DT game_NN on_IN TV_NN ._. 
Suddenly_RB ,_, she_PRP burst_VBD out_IN laughing_VBG ._. 
"_'' Listen_VB to_TO this_DT ,_, there_EX 's_VBZ an_DT ad_NN here_RB where_WRB a_DT guy_NN is_VBZ offering_VBG to_TO swap_VB his_PRP$ wife_NN for_IN a_DT season_NN ticket_NN ._. "_'' 
"_'' Hmmm_NNP ,_, "_'' her_PRP$ husband_NN said_VBD ,_, not_RB bothering_VBG to_TO look_VB away_RB from_IN his_PRP$ program_NN ._. 
She_PRP said_VBD teasingly_RB ,_, "_'' Would_MD you_PRP swap_VBP me_PRP for_IN season_NN tickets_NNS ?_. "_'' 
"_'' Absolutely_RB not_RB ,_, "_'' he_PRP said_VBD ,_, "_'' the_DT season_NN 's_POS more_JJR than_IN half_NN over_IN ._. "_'' 

